July 4th, 2011

Deep inside a tsunami of the soul

When I sit in my garden with the flowers, butterflies and birds, my heart journeys to a place deep within me.

There is a comfort in knowing my heart and its capacity to feel joy and sorrow almost simultaneously.

I feel the unimaginable grief of Jana’s sickness and death and I also feel the joy of her beautiful smile and zestful spirit. The I will carry Jana with me, deep inside my heart, and I will walk with grace and lightness of being for gratitude to have experienced such love.

It is a different place than her mom, Carolyn whose spirit lives in my tender heart with her beautiful smile and zestful spirit. Deep inside, I have learned that grief has many contours, rivers and streams formed by the relationship, of what was, what was hoped to be and what is.

Deep inside I simply feel the sheer depth and breadth of loss, a tsunami of the soul.

Deep inside me.

Posted by: Anne