Ocean waves
Wonderful weekend enjoying glorious days of summer. Peg, Natalie, Maureen and I went to the beach and stayed with Francie. On Saturday afternoon, we went to the beach at Gordon’s Pond. The water was just the right temperature although the waves could have been bigger. Natalie loves big waves although she did not always. When she was little she was afraid of the waves. I tried to get her to breathe into the wave by saying to herself, “in the ultimate I dwell.” In actuality she would yell the phrase with a mild panic, calling out “In the ultimate I dwell” to the delight of nearby swimmers and of course me. Seeing her so easily swim through the waves and enjoy a swim in the ocean, I felt the big wave of time rushing by for she is growing up.Then I felt an even bigger wave, a wave of grief for she is doing so (growing up) without her mom who would bring a spirited energy to any activity we did or conversation we had. I am coming to know a different kind of grief besides my own. I am coming to know the grief of a child who has to find her way in her world that has totally changed.